Wednesday 24 June 2009
Tuesday 23 June 2009
Friday 19 June 2009
Pain in the Ass - No penetration required
I am sorry but I just can’t leave the sodomites alone. I have openly declared that I am a fan of sodomy story (please do not interpret this as I am a sodomite; I am referring to the Anwar Sodomy Case II), and therefore how can I not write something about it from time to time?
Before we go any further, let’s see what the definition of “sodomy” is:
- intercourse via the anus, committed by a man with a man or woman
- anal copulation by a man inserting his penis in the anus either of another man or a woman
(Source from Google)
This is not a porn site and we are discussing about the act of sodomy from the medical and academic point of view. However, if you find this topic disgusting, please stop reading.
Based on the above definitions, we can safely draw a conclusion that, in order to accuse someone of sodomizing another, you must, at least, prove that:
(a) the “sodomizer” is a male with penis (I know you will say this is a stupid statement ,as all males are born with a penis. I don’t want to argue with you but I would strongly advise you to pay a visit to Chow Kit Road or Jalan Goh Hock Huat, Klang, and then tell me whether you are still 100% sure that all males are attached with a penis); and
(b) the “sodomizer” must insert (also known as “penetrate”) his penis in the anus of another human being (this human being can be either a girl or a boy, as all human beings are given an anus).
Ok, now, will you believe me if I were to tell you that someone is capable of sodomizing another fellow human being without inserting his penis in that human being’s anus?
Remember I talked about the magic show performed by our government in demolishing buildings as big as a 50,000-capacity stadium without the assistance of any explosive or external device? I honestly thought that our government is already a great magician. After all, who on earth can collapse a one-year-old building in broad daylight without explosives?
Anyway, I recently found another magician who can perform even better tricks. He is none other than our PKR advisor, Anwar. What can he do?
Read this report. According to the medical report of Hospital Kuala Lumpur, which was endorsed by 3 specialists, there was no evidence of penetration on Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan – the complainant who was allegedly sodomized by Anwar.
Wow, even if the anus of Mohd Saiful was never penetrated, he could nevertheless still “feel the pain in the ass” and accuse Anwar of doing such an indecent act on him. To fortify his accusation, he even swore on the holy book. I don’t know if Mohd Saiful is telling the truth, but if he is, then I must present a certificate to Anwar, certifying that he is the best magician on earth.
If Mohd Saiful is telling the truth and Anwar gets convicted and sent to jail despite documentary evidence showing that Saiful’s anus was never penetrated, what does that mean? The only conclusion I can make is – Anwar is able to penetrate someone’s back without actually penetrating someone’s back. Does that make sense to you?
Well, I suppose in this bolehland we share the same motto with Adidas - impossible is nothing.
Before we go any further, let’s see what the definition of “sodomy” is:
- intercourse via the anus, committed by a man with a man or woman
- anal copulation by a man inserting his penis in the anus either of another man or a woman
(Source from Google)
This is not a porn site and we are discussing about the act of sodomy from the medical and academic point of view. However, if you find this topic disgusting, please stop reading.
Based on the above definitions, we can safely draw a conclusion that, in order to accuse someone of sodomizing another, you must, at least, prove that:
(a) the “sodomizer” is a male with penis (I know you will say this is a stupid statement ,as all males are born with a penis. I don’t want to argue with you but I would strongly advise you to pay a visit to Chow Kit Road or Jalan Goh Hock Huat, Klang, and then tell me whether you are still 100% sure that all males are attached with a penis); and
(b) the “sodomizer” must insert (also known as “penetrate”) his penis in the anus of another human being (this human being can be either a girl or a boy, as all human beings are given an anus).
Ok, now, will you believe me if I were to tell you that someone is capable of sodomizing another fellow human being without inserting his penis in that human being’s anus?
Remember I talked about the magic show performed by our government in demolishing buildings as big as a 50,000-capacity stadium without the assistance of any explosive or external device? I honestly thought that our government is already a great magician. After all, who on earth can collapse a one-year-old building in broad daylight without explosives?
Anyway, I recently found another magician who can perform even better tricks. He is none other than our PKR advisor, Anwar. What can he do?
Read this report. According to the medical report of Hospital Kuala Lumpur, which was endorsed by 3 specialists, there was no evidence of penetration on Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan – the complainant who was allegedly sodomized by Anwar.
Wow, even if the anus of Mohd Saiful was never penetrated, he could nevertheless still “feel the pain in the ass” and accuse Anwar of doing such an indecent act on him. To fortify his accusation, he even swore on the holy book. I don’t know if Mohd Saiful is telling the truth, but if he is, then I must present a certificate to Anwar, certifying that he is the best magician on earth.
If Mohd Saiful is telling the truth and Anwar gets convicted and sent to jail despite documentary evidence showing that Saiful’s anus was never penetrated, what does that mean? The only conclusion I can make is – Anwar is able to penetrate someone’s back without actually penetrating someone’s back. Does that make sense to you?
Well, I suppose in this bolehland we share the same motto with Adidas - impossible is nothing.
Wednesday 3 June 2009
Malaysia, a safe place
How reliable is the result of a survey? Can we place too much trust on it?
If you trust surveys, then you would have to take it that 45% of Malaysians are happy with our current PM, and only 16% disapproves him. However, I for one cannot find anyone I know that can, will or want to say anything good about him. Thus, according to my “survey”, his approval rating is a big fat “0”.
Nevertheless, let’s not waste time on him. It is meaningless to read too much into the 45% “thumbs up”. We all know what to do when the ballot box comes.
Today, I want to highlight another survey, which was conducted on a global scale. According to the Global Peace Index (GPI), an annual ranking of the world's nations on the basis of how peaceful they are, Malaysia is the 26th safest place in the world. On top of the list is New Zealand, followed by Denmark, Norway and Iceland.
Yes, Malaysia is the 26th safest place in the world. If you don’t believe it, hold your breath now, the next revelation is even more shocking: Malaysia is the 3rd safest place in Asia – only Japan and Singapore performed better than us!
When I was in Shanghai, I really felt safe. I did not have to worry about my wife although she walked to the subway alone everyday – sometimes at night. During summer, some residents even slept on the walkway without the fear of being mugged.
But according to the survey, Malaysia ranked higher than China.
Well, I guess we should give our police force a big hug and a big thank you. Good job indeed. Thanks for making us the 3rd safest place in Asia.
From today onwards, we should remove all the gates and grills that make our houses look like prisons. We should stop hiring private security guards to patrol our neighborhood. We need not worry too much if our wife or daughter comes home late. Before we sleep, there is no need to check all the doors and windows to make sure they are securely locked. Also, we do not need to waste money installing alarm system.
Because, Malaysia is the 3rd safest place in Asia.
And why do you lock your car door before fastening the seat belt? Why do you constantly on alert when you are walking alone in the dark? Why do you keep a pepper spray in your handbag? Nobody will walk to you with a parang. All those fear are unnecessary. The stories you read about people got chopped, stabbed, raped, murdered, kidnapped or snatched are just isolated incidents and do not reflect the state of crime in Malaysia.
Because, Malaysia is the 3rd safest place in Asia.
Do you feel safe now?
So, what are you waiting for? Go unlock all your grills, doors, and windows now; see if you can sleep tonight.
You can’t? I am not sure who can.
Tuesday 2 June 2009
Kecelakaan Buatan Tempatan 3
Have I told you that the work of our government is more entertaining than the street magic of David Blaine? David Blaine might be able to make a card in his hand disappear but I doubt he could make a building, such as a huge 50,000-capacity stadium, disappear or demolished under the sun without the help of explosive or any external device.
David Copperfield did once make the Statue of Liberty disappear; but he did it at night and he used a piece of cloth to block our view when he did his tricks. Ask Copperfield to do it in the morning and throw away the cloth, see if he could still do the tricks.
Believe it or not, our government can do what David Blaine and David Copperfield can’t. Don’t believe me? Read this. The roof of a 1 year old stadium collapsed. Yes, please repeat after me “satu lagi projek Kerajaan Barisan Nasional!”
Are you shocked or surprised? I am definitely not. When a building in Tasik Banding collapsed years ago, I already gave our government a certificate with my signature on it endorsing that they are the best magicians on earth. They surely make people like David Copperfield and David Blaine feel ashamed. Therefore, if they could pull a stunt like this, why should I be surprised?
However, the stadium-magic show is not over yet. The show is still on. Collapsing the roof is just the beginning of the magic trick.
What is the next trick that follows? Watch carefully, they will make another thing disappear very soon. What thing? The thing called “accountability”. Yes, no one will be held liable for this unfortunate incident. No head will roll and no balls will be nailed to be wall. Life goes on. And a new contractor will be asked to do the repair work, of course, at additional costs.
The State Public Works Department director, Rosly Zainal, when approached by reporters, has refused to comment. Again, not a surprise. I will be surprised if he opens his mouth to apologize and claim responsibility.
Remember the collapsed building in Tasik Banding? Was anyone asked to answer?
But on second thought, I should not claim that the BN government can make “accountability” disappear. Because, before you could make a thing disappear, that thing must first exist, then only it could be disappeared. Right?
Since when does the notion of accountability exist in Malaysia?
Again, after me please “SATU LAGI PROJEK KERAJAAN BARISAN NASIONAL”!
.
David Copperfield did once make the Statue of Liberty disappear; but he did it at night and he used a piece of cloth to block our view when he did his tricks. Ask Copperfield to do it in the morning and throw away the cloth, see if he could still do the tricks.
Believe it or not, our government can do what David Blaine and David Copperfield can’t. Don’t believe me? Read this. The roof of a 1 year old stadium collapsed. Yes, please repeat after me “satu lagi projek Kerajaan Barisan Nasional!”
Are you shocked or surprised? I am definitely not. When a building in Tasik Banding collapsed years ago, I already gave our government a certificate with my signature on it endorsing that they are the best magicians on earth. They surely make people like David Copperfield and David Blaine feel ashamed. Therefore, if they could pull a stunt like this, why should I be surprised?
However, the stadium-magic show is not over yet. The show is still on. Collapsing the roof is just the beginning of the magic trick.
What is the next trick that follows? Watch carefully, they will make another thing disappear very soon. What thing? The thing called “accountability”. Yes, no one will be held liable for this unfortunate incident. No head will roll and no balls will be nailed to be wall. Life goes on. And a new contractor will be asked to do the repair work, of course, at additional costs.
The State Public Works Department director, Rosly Zainal, when approached by reporters, has refused to comment. Again, not a surprise. I will be surprised if he opens his mouth to apologize and claim responsibility.
Remember the collapsed building in Tasik Banding? Was anyone asked to answer?
But on second thought, I should not claim that the BN government can make “accountability” disappear. Because, before you could make a thing disappear, that thing must first exist, then only it could be disappeared. Right?
Since when does the notion of accountability exist in Malaysia?
Again, after me please “SATU LAGI PROJEK KERAJAAN BARISAN NASIONAL”!
.
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